Battle of The Sexes by Rachel Nelson

Before I say anything, I want to make it clear that I don’t think my opinion is correct for all black people because I already know someone is going to try me. I believe that the media has major influence on how we see the world as well as ourselves. With that said, I believe black men and women look down on each other. Most music videos I see, the only video girls are white, Asian, or Latina but there was a time when they were mostly if not all black. I don’t watch a lot of television, but Blackish is the only primetime show I’ve seen in a while other than Dr. Bailey’s relationship in Grey’s Anatomy that showed black love, not interracial. I think many black men feel inferior as a black person and push these ideals onto women by saying stuff like darker girls are ugly, natural hair isn’t cute, girls who always talk about social justice are annoying. I also think many white and Latina women fetishize black men because of how black men have been portrayed historically. They were seen as big, strong, hypersexualized beings and because integration/interracial love was illegal for some time, these women have been drawn to them because of these depictions. And I think because of sociohistorical factors in black communities, such as employment, drugs, and poverty, there was a decline in the media representation of black love and a shift to the media focusing on the disconnect. Seeing this disconnect, I could see how people would gravitate to another group who seems to have it all together such as whites or Asians. People fetishize Asian women all the time because they believe they’re all doormats and never speak up for themselves. Black men and women from many races/ethnicities have said black women are losing their men because they aren’t submissive and other women have gotten curvier. How are we as women supposed to feel when people tell us we’re only loved because of our bodies and black men don’t want a baby with “nappy” hair so they never date black women? There are negative stereotypes of black men/women that are seen as positive on another race and that causes a lot of intraracial problems. However, I also see black women looking down on black men. I’ve seen black women spew the rhetoric that more black men are in jail than in college (which is wrong) and black men can’t offer stability. I think the problem is cyclical but also when it comes to black women, there’s more than just black men that are against them because other women are saying black women don’t deserve love. I see the men thinking these fetishes are real love from these other women and they’re so desperate to find love and stability they don’t see the problem with it. The media is there to basically form your opinion, so if all you see as a black person are problems between black men and women you’re going to think there’s a valid reason for it.